For many people, middle age serves as a stimulus for reflecting on their lives. The kids have flown the coop, giving you more time to examine your likes, dislikes, goals, and dreams.
Middle age is also a time when we tend to reflect on our social circles. Do our friendships still exist? Have we lost friends due to illness, relocation, or divorce? Do we want something different from our friendships? As we get older, we have less tolerance and energy for frivolous friendships. We want substance and real, authentic relationships.
Making friends, however, is not always easy as you become older. It was straightforward in school or the early days of our first employment; you saw the same folks everyday. You were surrounded by friendly candidates. But after you reach middle age, it gets more difficult to meet new individuals.
The good news is that, while tough, it is possible to form new and lasting friendships. Here are some strategies for making new acquaintances in midlife:
1. Don’t Feel Embarrassed
There is no need to be embarrassed about being lonely or friendless. It is significantly more common than the media has led us to assume. So don't feel bad and prepare to put yourself out there.
2. Volunteer
Volunteering is an excellent opportunity to meet new individuals who share your values. Furthermore, studies have shown that those who volunteer have longer and healthier lives!
3. Take a Class
Do you have a passion for dancing? Painting? Photography? Taking a class is a terrific opportunity to learn more about something you already enjoy, stay involved, keep your brain young, and meet others who share your interests and hobbies.
4. Reach Out to Acquaintances
How many times have you encountered someone you "sort of know" at a company function or a local Starbucks? Every conversation with this individual makes you think, "Gee, I wish we were friends."
When you see this person again, ask them if they'd like to grab lunch. Get their contact information and follow up. You never know; it could be the start of something great.
5. Get into the Habit of Being Social
By midlife, we've developed some fairly substantial behaviors. Some good, others not so well. If you've never been a social butterfly, but are more accustomed to remaining at home with the kids or simply keeping in because it's easier, putting yourself out there will likely seem strange. It is crucial to strive to be social on a daily basis, though. This might be as simple as walking around your city or neighborhood and greeting pleasant people, or ringing up an acquaintance for a conversation.
Good connections are beneficial to our general health and the quality of our life. While it may appear difficult to form new friendships in midlife, these can be among of the most lasting and significant ties we make.
Do you believe you lack social connections because of fear, grief, or a low self-esteem? If you’d like to explore therapy, please get in touch. I’d be more than happy to talk about how I may help.