Losing a relationship, whether expected or unexpected, is always heartbreaking. The finality of losing the love of your life, and the realization that you will move forward in the world without them by your side, may be one of the most difficult tasks you face.

If you've lost a significant partner, grieved, and recovered, you may be ready to find love again. You may be experiencing fear, worry, or guilt, and you're unsure how (or if) to resume dating. Continue reading for advice on how to start over. 

There’s No Timeline

There is no handbook or checklist for grieving; how you mourn and move forward is entirely personal. Whether it takes three months or three years, your timeline is entirely your own. When you start to feel better and want to share your life with someone again, it's time to start dating. Sharing every day with someone is a very intimate and special experience, and it is healthy and natural for you to move forward in a positive direction. 

Letting Go of Guilt

While it is necessary to allow time to heal and recover from this painful loss, it is equally critical not to extend the period of mourning. Your lover would not want you to spend the rest of your life in despair. If you're feeling guilty, remember that your feelings are normal, but you also deserve to be joyful.

Family Expectations

Your children and other family members who are also grieving your spouse's death may not be ready for you to date again. While it is crucial to be attentive to their grief process, you must equally remind them that the decision is ultimately yours. Keep in mind that their journey through mourning is unique to them. Continue to be sensitive to their mourning process while remaining true to yourself and moving forward when you are ready.

Overall, when you begin dating again is an entirely personal choice. As someone who has suffered such an incredible loss, it can be a difficult decision; but it’s a decision that is only yours to make. Moving on with your life doesn’t erase the memories of the past, nor does it do a disservice to the spouse that you loved and lost. A new relationship will bring you joy and happiness, creating more loving memories you can add to your life.

Are you struggling to move on after the death of a significant other, and need support and guidance? A licensed therapist can help. Call my office any time, and let’s schedule a time to talk.