Sadness after sex may be tough to confront or admit, yet it is a common sensation. Even if the sex was enjoyable and satisfactory, feelings of sadness or depression following sex are more prevalent than you might think. According to a 2015 study on Postcoital Dysphoria, 46% of women reported feeling melancholy after sex.

While many circumstances can lead to a sense of sadness after sex, some are more common than others.

Postcoital Dysphoria

Postcoital Dysphoria (PCD), sometimes known as "post-sex blues," is a bad mood that occurs after intercourse and might include tears, melancholy or depression, anxiety, agitation, or anger. PCD is a typical biological disorder that affects both men and women. If you experience sadness after sex, the cause could be biological. 

Lack of Connection with Your Partner

A sense of sadness after sex might also stem from a lack of a strong emotional connection with your spouse. While some people can turn off their emotions about sex and enjoy casual sex or a "one-night stand," others cannot. If you require a meaningful emotional connection to be satisfied with your sexual experiences, there is nothing wrong with you. Be honest with yourself and determine whether you can enjoy sex as a fun, feel-good activity or whether you require a deeper connection. It's more damaging to yourself in the long term to try to push casual meetings when you're unable to fully appreciate them.

PTSD

Posttraumatic Stress illness (PTSD) is a psychiatric illness that can develop after experiencing or witnessing a traumatic or life-threatening incident. If you were the victim of a violent or sexual assault, even if you believe you have recovered, your post-sex blues could be the result of PTSD. During intercourse, memories of the assault may resurface, causing you to relive the painful occurrence.

Your Upbringing

A strict religious upbringing, or being raised in a home where you were forced to feel ashamed of your sexuality, might also contribute to post-sex depression. It is not uncommon for those raised in strict religious traditions to have panic, anxiety, or sadness following sex, with their troubles stemming from equating sex and sexuality with shame.

There are numerous variables that can contribute to a gloomy mood after sex. A bad relationship, low self-esteem, regret over your partner choice, and drug and/or alcohol abuse, to name a few, can all contribute to feelings of sadness after sex. The appropriate therapist may work with you to figure out what's causing your distress and help you develop strategies to cope with the grief while also addressing the root of the issue. 

If you’re struggling with this issue and need support and guidance, I can help. Call my office today and let’s schedule a time to talk.